This isPart 1 of a 2-part story that will explain the recent pause in TCL posts and examine the endless possibilities for late-blooming dreams. I’ve seen too many people, some as young as thirty-five, who think they’ve missed opportunities due to their age. I hope my story provides encouragement, and a few fresh takes on time itself for anyone who might feel the soft flutter of a new or an old dream. _________________________________
As 2019 ended, I eagerly awaited the training, coaching, consulting, and writing assignments lined up for 2020. My key courses, The Communication Lab (TCL) and Speak on Your Feet (SOYF) were on a roll. I’d built a website and planned to continue to add posts to my new blog.
I’d turned 66 on December 23. A perceptive friend told me she saw a much needed time of rest in my near future. I shrugged this off: Interesting! I do plan to slow down a bit to travel more. I might even be“practicing retirement”!
The first bit of my ride into 2020 was blissful, beginning with an early January trip to NYC. Then the world turned upside down. Classes were cancelled, client budgets cut, and travel plans were shelved . . .
I still felt lucky. Like Wile E. Coyote, I’m resilient, (though far less trusting of Acme-type corporations). Self-employed since my twenties, I felt financially prepared for retirement. But was I mentally and emotionally prepared? Not entirely.
Cliff Notes on How I Spent My Pandemic-Imposed “Stay-cation”— I coached a few clients, took on small writing projects, and helped family and friends when needed. I had more free time to garden and shoot hoops. I toyed with art, music (playing piano and ukulele rather badly), and writing fiction. I watched movies and TV series that for years sat stranded on my “coming attractions” list.
My insightful friend was right—I had needed a slow-down. Of course, I would never have chosen to be shoved into a sabbatical by an invisible force that threatened loved ones, the world economy—and my stash of toilet paper.
I missed students and the joys of teaching. Almost daily I wondered whether I would ever again teach Wizard communication skills. Was this really, truly retirement?
Like many who are driven by passion for their work and a desire to make a difference, I’d never considered stepping off my entrepreneurial hamster wheel, even for an extended leave. I rarely slowed down enough for a good long think about what I wanted or to question whether my dreams might have shifted. It would be 2023 before I fully grasped all that can sprout from an extended period of deep reflection.
When you’re lost, if you’re like me, you wander. I spent time in virtual explorations of all sorts. As a Trekkie, unfamiliar with Doctor Who, I enjoyed the worldwide watch-alongs with fans of the long-running series. My Doctor Who timey-wimey mention in the subtitle means we’ll travel back in time for context, and I’ll share my earlier, yet still quite late blooms.
Here’s hoping my journey through time and space will encourage other late-bloomers.
You Might Be a Late-Bloomer If . . .
In 1986, at age 32, I began taking courses at Virginia Commonwealth University for a BA in Political Science. I had two young children and a supportive husband who, when I tried to figure out precisely where this plan would take me said, whatever you end up doing when you graduate will be fine. You need to feed your hungry mind.
Chris is what’s known as a “keeper.” When I overthink, he reminds me of The FIRST Key to Blooming:
You don’t need to figure out the END in order to BEGIN.
One friend had tried to talk me out of it. She insisted that because getting my degree would take six years or more it was a thoroughly foolish idea and would be a waste of money and time. She even expressed concern for my family. Thankfully, most others were encouraging, or they simply raised their eyebrows, blinked and said, “Oh!”
Mrs. “With Friends Like That” showed me The SECOND Key to Blooming:
You don’t have to be swayed by anyone’s opinions. Trust your knowledge, experience, and intuition. If doubts remain, seek wise counsel.
I graduated with honors and received recognition as VCU’s top Poli-Sci grad of 1992. My senior year had been life-changing. I’d met a professor who became a mentor, senior research study advisor, and dear friend.
He demonstrated The THIRD Key to Blooming:
You don’t have to go it alone. Ask Dorothy Gale about the value of having fellow dreamers accompany you on your journey.
Dr. Edward H. Peeples learned that I was interested in studying violence prevention. He suggested that I embark on an independent study and offered to serve as my faculty advisor. For one year, I researched and wrote about Violence Prevention through Public Policy.
Dr. Peeples presented me with challenges each week. He advised against specialization when compiling research. He saw a need for scholars to take a broad perspective, especially early in a study. That meant massive amounts of reading and research. He coached me to become a better communicator and writer. I was regularly bombarded with his questions in preparation to deliver sharp responses in fast-paced interviews.
He scrutinized every section of my thesis and offered strong criticism and valuable feedback to improve my writing. He lightened the weighty subject regularly with his humor and signature puns.
As one who could be extremely self-critical when I didn’t meet my often impossible expectations, I learned to avoid wilting by practicing The FOURTH Key to Blooming:
You don’t need to internalize constructive criticism to grow from it. Take it into your mind, not into your heart.
Dr. Peeples opened doors leading to all the work I’ve loved doing since 1992.
I highly recommend Ed Peeples’ important memoir about his working-class upbringing in the southern US. The vivid, emotional stories throughout detail how his eyes were opened to injustice. Scalawag: A White Southerner's Journey through Segregation to Human Rights Activism.
When anyone asked what I would do after graduation, I’d say, I’ll probably get a job working for the state. That seemed a good possibility. I applied for two state positions, yet didn’t get an interview for either. Thankfully, writing my senior thesis and my volunteer and paid community work led me to stumble into freelance journalism. Editors continued to call me and this work paved the way for what would become my new business and a (so far) 30-year career.
My articles for various publications covered a wide range of topics such as violence, gun safety laws, race, class, medicine, and mental health issues. I spent a lot of time reading issues of Writer’s Digest and books on journalism to teach myself how to interview and how to write for newspapers and magazines. I learned even more from my rookie mistakes. This leads to The FIFTH Key to Blooming:
You don't have to know EVERYTHING to begin SOMETHING. Begin and learn as you go.
Soon I’d be asked to speak on some of these topics. A local community college hired me as an adjunct professor to create and teach professional development courses. I founded Wizard Training & Consulting and continued moving in the direction of some of my dreams. Which leads to The SIXTH Key to Blooming:
You don’t always need a plan or specific goals. Sow seeds through volunteer work and meeting like-minded people. Wherever you are doing good work, opportunities will find YOU!
My Wizard Training & Consulting client list continued to grow. Then, an odd problem came to light. When Harry Potter arrived in the US, a couple of callers inquired, Do you train wizards?
Yes! I train Communication Wizards! My students love earning wizard gear, wands, and hats!
Unfortunately, that wasn’t what callers were looking for. I soon shortened my business name to Wizard Inc.
If you know me, you will know that one of my favorite keys is, The Seventh Key to Blooming:
You don’t have to be serious to be responsible. Make your work your own and make it as much fun as it can possibly be.
I taught for a few years for The Women’s Resource Center before The University of Richmond’s School of Professional & Continuing Studies (SPCS) took over and hired me as an adjunct professor. I offered my non-credit communication, public speaking, grammar, proofreading, and leadership courses for the SPCS. In 2010 they honored me with their MVP (Most Valuable Professor) award. I continued teaching there a few more years until my Wizard Inc calendar became too full.
Looking back, it’s easy to see howALLmy dreams link to what I enjoyed during childhood.
Time Travel to Your Childhood
When students or mentees are searching for a new pursuit that fits their passions, I ask them to recall what they enjoyed as a child.
I’m convinced that our dreams never leave. Even if we bury them for decades, they remain, awaiting a simple kiss of reawakening. Authentic, deep passions show up early, perhaps in disguise. I used to drag my chalkboard into the yard to “teach” the willing pals I’d recruited to play along as my students. That is, until they’d mutiny so we could play football or baseball.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve written everything from poetry to outpourings of my adolescent (and later, adult) angst. As a child I scribbled these into a lockable diary. I learned early that grief, pain, sadness, and hurt would begin to lift from my heart and mind, when I put them on the page.
Examine your life to uncover clues to your dreams as suggested in the Eighth Key to Blooming:
You don’t need to search the world to find your dream. Start by looking in your own back yard. Seek it in the long corridors of your memories. You WILL find traces of the dream you tucked away. Then, in a moment of stillness, you’ll hear it whisper:
“C’mon! Give me a go!”
Perhaps the fountain of youth isn’t a fountain at all. Maybe it’s a flower that blooms from your renewed curiosity as its buds unfurl to fresh vistas. Multiple buds burst into blossoms from the warm light ofyouthful,yet ageless excitement, eagerness, openness, optimism, camaraderie, collaboration—and your steely determination to carry on when the quest proves daunting.
If you’re a late-bloomer working now for your dream, here’s some good news: When workdays are long and you’re weary, you can shift into your secret bonus gear. The power in it comes from your years of experience and the hunger that has intensified as your dream awaited its launch. You’ll be energized to navigate every challenge. Oh yes, there will be challenges! They’re as important to your growing into your journey as the struggles were for the three dreamers who joined Dorothy. . .and her little dog, too. (TWO!)
Next week subscribers will receive the rest of this story. It will bring you up-to-date on what happened to me that has led to a bonus blooming season I really did NOT see coming.
